Mrs. P. J. Rittenhouse
46 Park Ave.
New York, New York
††††††††††† My Dear Mrs. Rittenhouse,
††††††††††† It is with great pride and excitement that I accept your gracious invitation to the dinner to be held at your residence on 23 May.† My wife and I look forward to an evening of gaiety and laughter.
††††††††††† If itís not too forward, I would like to lend a few suggestions which I feel will guarantee the success of your soiree.† First, you know of my love of the ale.† I would suspect there will be plenty on hand in case any of the other guests would like to have one also.† I do prefer my ales from a chilled pilsner glass if itís not too much trouble.
††††††††††† When it comes to the food, more people will remember your party for this fact than any other.† I myself am very flexible when food is concerned, but Iíve always found that there seems to be a little redundancy in serving those little meatballs as an appetizer when you are serving filet mignon as a main course.† I guess Iím being a bit presumptive, but for an affair such as this, only filet mignon would be appropriate.† As noted with my caveat on the meatballs, I feel that a nice shrimp cocktail would befit an event such as yours.† Make sure there are plenty of nice desserts also, because I always like to take a little something home ďfor the kidsĒ.† Iím sure your other guests would appreciate this magnanimous gesture also.
††††††††††† As far as the guest list goes, I realize that this is the most important detail of any party.† Iím sure you spent countless hours on selecting the perfect mix of attendees.† As I have mentioned before, my wife and I are pleased to be included in such a fine assemblage, however, Mrs. Benchley has a difficult time with a certain Mrs. Wooster.† I donít seem to have any problems with Mr. Wooster, but my wife has a terrible time with the Mrs.† I would consider it a personal favor if you could ďun-extendĒ the invitation to the Woosters.† My wife would feel much more comfortable, and we would better enjoy ourselves.
††††††††††† For the seating arrangements, could you please make it so as we are not sitting near the following people:† Williams (loud eaters), Dobbins (endless tales of Africa and their children), Bellaire (a rather unkempt couple) and finally, Johnston (rumors of their past is quite unsavory).
††††††††††† Iím sure that by heeding these suggestions, you will have a splendid affair, one which my wife and I will remember for quite some time.
We look forward to seeing you on the 23rd of May.