**06E030**

**The Advanced Math Behind Creationism **

To understand and appreciate
the scientific principles underlying Creationism, it’s important to understand
the advanced math behind it. For some this can be challenging, and as a result,
they turn to simplified theories of creation such as evolutionary theory, which
cannot be backed up by advanced math or any math for that matter; and for the
most part, rests on nothing more than blind faith. And everyone knows faith is
one thing, and science something else entirely.

It’s time to look at the
science and math behind Creationism.
Let’s start at the beginning. As everyone knows, everything starts with
somebody starting it. Nothing starts by itself, unless you have misread the
instructions. So there must be a first cause, or, as they say in science, *Point A.* You can’t get any more
scientific than *Point A. *It’s
mentioned in every physics book I ever read.*
*Our *Point A *just happens to be an
Intelligent Designer, intelligent because It was smart enough to start where
every good story starts, with a first man and woman to root for. Adam and Eve learned quickly the splendid
value of math, particularly how to *multiply.* In fact, they performed this math function
with great obsessiveness for many years, until Eve started getting bedtime
headaches.

After this *multiplication *phase, Adam and Eve
looked around for grandparents to leave all these children with, creating
math’s first *subtraction *problem.
They discovered they never had mothers and fathers, and this caused a great
deal of stress on both of them, particularly when Adam’s night out with the
impala coincided with Eve’s Tree of Knowledge studies and there was no one to
watch the kids. When eldest son Cain provided
his math solution for *subtraction*,
Adam and Eve banned Cain from further math studies and from family reunions.

Eve sought a resolution for
these math problems at her beloved Tree of Knowledge. However, there she
discovered a new math problem: *division.*
Adam had accused Eve of conspiring with another garden creature, and the
once-happy couple split up - Adam feeling deeply wronged, given that he was
still recovering from his rib surgery, and Eve stuck with some forty children.
Cain continued to *subtract* other
siblings, except for a sister he married, followed up quickly by other sisters
he married, and so on, calling this novel marital situation, *addition, *further complicating
Creationist math. When Cain’s mischievous *addition
*problems continued, *multiplication *and
*subtraction* reached scandalous
proportions, and more* division* could
not be helped.

Compare this advanced math
to the math the evolutionists have given us: after a billion trillion random
mutations, fish become iguana and iguana become mammals, and mammals start to
walk upright, but right back into the water to become dolphins and whales! Now, wait just a second. I don’t mind
reading this to the children, but I’m afraid this is not science.

Just ask the monkeys. They
have been insisting for years that we’re not related to them. They hate that
idea more than we do.