The Advanced Math Behind Creationism
To understand and appreciate the scientific principles underlying Creationism, itís important to understand the advanced math behind it. For some this can be challenging, and as a result, they turn to simplified theories of creation such as evolutionary theory, which cannot be backed up by advanced math or any math for that matter; and for the most part, rests on nothing more than blind faith. And everyone knows faith is one thing, and science something else entirely.
Itís time to look at the science and math behind Creationism.† Letís start at the beginning. As everyone knows, everything starts with somebody starting it. Nothing starts by itself, unless you have misread the instructions. So there must be a first cause, or, as they say in science, Point A. You canít get any more scientific than Point A. Itís mentioned in every physics book I ever read. Our Point A just happens to be an Intelligent Designer, intelligent because It was smart enough to start where every good story starts, with a first man and woman to root for.† Adam and Eve learned quickly the splendid value of math, particularly how to multiply.† In fact, they performed this math function with great obsessiveness for many years, until Eve started getting bedtime headaches.
After this multiplication phase, Adam and Eve looked around for grandparents to leave all these children with, creating mathís first subtraction problem. They discovered they never had mothers and fathers, and this caused a great deal of stress on both of them, particularly when Adamís night out with the impala coincided with Eveís Tree of Knowledge studies and there was no one to watch the kids.† When eldest son Cain provided his math solution for subtraction, Adam and Eve banned Cain from further math studies and from family reunions.
Eve sought a resolution for these math problems at her beloved Tree of Knowledge. However, there she discovered a new math problem: division. Adam had accused Eve of conspiring with another garden creature, and the once-happy couple split up - Adam feeling deeply wronged, given that he was still recovering from his rib surgery, and Eve stuck with some forty children. Cain continued to subtract other siblings, except for a sister he married, followed up quickly by other sisters he married, and so on, calling this novel marital situation, addition, further complicating Creationist math. When Cainís mischievous addition problems continued, multiplication and subtraction reached scandalous proportions, and more division could not be helped.
Compare this advanced math to the math the evolutionists have given us: after a billion trillion random mutations, fish become iguana and iguana become mammals, and mammals start to walk upright, but right back into the water to become dolphins and whales!† Now, wait just a second. I donít mind reading this to the children, but Iím afraid this is not science.
Just ask the monkeys. They have been insisting for years that weíre not related to them. They hate that idea more than we do.