06E077

Dead-to-the-World Man Walking

 

One morning this week, I woke up with a black eye. In getting older, I have realized certain things are changing in my body. I now find myself walking in my sleep. This is a new experience for me and I'm not sure what it means or what I should do about it.

 

On the positive side of this, walking in my sleep is the only exercise I really get these days, so I should not be complaining too much. I started walking so much in my sleep I began wearing my sneakers to bed.

 

As a person gets older, he or she needs to make necessary adjustments in life. After all, walking in my sleep is not that bad, except for my mysterious black eye.

 

Not only am I walking in my sleep, but also my wife has accused me of talking in my sleep. Actually, in my own defense, talking in my sleep is the only time I get a word in edgewise. I guess in the middle of the night I'm trying to make up for this lack during the day.

 

Lately I have talked so much in my sleep that I wake up a little horse, which just may explain why I have been eating like one lately.

 

Unfortunately, my talking during the night has kept my wife awake so much, she recently requested I start preaching in my sleep so she can get to sleep.

 

Lately I've been having trouble falling asleep at night. I've even tried counting sheep but their bleating keeps me awake.

 

Each night I tried to get in 40 winks but by the time I reach number 33 I lose count and have to start all over again. The older I get the more my sleep resembles a salad well tossed.

 

Actually, the noises in the night upset me the most. Sleep has a way of bringing out the noise in our house, from a dripping faucet down the hall to a creaking window shutter in the living room. It's amazing how intelligent these noises in the night can be. They are quiet until I'm just about ready to drift off into la-la-land.

 

For example, as far as we know we have no mice in our house. We have never seen any evidence of such critters in our blessed domicile. Yet, in the middle of the night I hear these little critters gnawing the wall right by my head. How they know where I sleep and when I go to sleep is one of the mysteries of the night stalker.

 

Through the years, I have tried many things to help me get to sleep at night. For some reason I have no trouble going to sleep during the daytime particularly in the afternoon.

 

I used have trouble falling asleep until I started placing my shoes and socks right next to my bed before I go to sleep. Although it had its effect upon me, it also had its adverse effect upon the other occupant of my bed.

 

Hot cocoa has been highly recommended to me. For the most part, it does its work. My only difficulty with hot cocoa is if I don't drink it quickly enough I begin nodding halfway through and spill it on my chest. I can assure you it's a real eye opener.

 

Eventually, when I do full asleep the crack of dawn awakens me. No matter when I go to bed nor how long I have slept, I always need just one minute more of sleep. Why is it I can hear the drip of a faucet down the hall but I can't hear the clanging alarm clock at my head?

 

Now, back to my black eye. I really have no recollection of how this happened. My wife has tried to explain it to me. She pointed out, most correctly, that lately I have been walking in my sleep. No argument from me. Then she explains while I was walking in my sleep the other night I walked into the bathroom door causing the black eye.

 

I'm not in any position to question her, but I noticed she was rubbing her right fist most tenderly.