06E105

“Buyer Beware…the Clive.”

Welcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Clive.
Clive: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: Hi Clive. I've initiated a return twice, and haven't yet received an RMA.
Clive: I'm sorry to hear that, However, I'll be glad to help you resolve your concern.
you: Great.
Clive: To help you better may I please have your invoice number?
you: 27465074
Clive: Are you referring to 'Carlos Santana Discreet Women's Low Heel Sling' priced at $37.99?
you: Yes, among others. Shall i give you their SKU numbers?
Clive: Yes, you can. I am glad to help you.
you: X X X X

Clive: Do you wish to return the other items under the order number 27465074?
you: no
Clive: Can you be more specific regarding what your concern is?
you: They don't fit.

Clive: May I know which items you wish return?
you: Clive, I'm getting the feeling you're not a live person, after all. I wish to return the items listed by SKU above.
Clive: I am sorry for the confusion. May I know the exact reason wish to return these items?
you: No you may not, because you are not, in fact, a person. So, let's just have the RMA, Clive.
Clive: I would like to let you know that we are a live person.
you: I would like to let you know that we are an alien, and have limited time to spend on product returns. It is our mission to take over the earth.
Clive: I would like to let you know that In your account the 'Carlos Santana Discreet Women's Low Heel Sling' priced at $37.99 was only initiated for a return.
you: Clive, you are mistaken. At any rate, I am still within the return period, so Clive...PLEASE, CLIVE…give me an RMA for the SKU's listed above.
Clive: Sally, the best I can do for you is I will initiate a return for the above mentioned SKU numbers. Will that work for you?
you: That's all I ever wanted!

Clive: I would like to let you know that the items returned under the reason of not meeting the expectations of the customers then restocking fees will be charged. Will that work for you?
you: Yes, I know your policies. My disenchantment with online shopping is mine to bear alone.
Clive: Then I will go ahead and initiate the return. Please stay online while I do that for you?
you: Okey-dokey.

Clive: I am sorry that it is taking much time however I request you to stay online while I do that for you.
you: Still here.

Clive: I have initiated a return for the above mentioned items. You will receive a prepaid shipping label. Simply place this label on the outside of the box and ship it back.
you: Thank you.

Clive: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: No. Good luck with the artificial intelligence thing, Clive!
Clive: Bye. Take care.