I’m not a bad housekeeper and I’m proud to say I’ve never lost a house yet.  I’m not bragging though, they are actually quite easy to keep.  It’s simply a matter of following some basic rules: never leave burning candles unattended, address any maintenance issues promptly and always remember where you parked it.  House CLEANING, however, is a different story altogether.  Having achieved a state of overall household cleanliness a strong desire always strikes me to keep it clean.  This is where the difficulty begins!  In order to sustain my new spotless abode I have to CONTINUE cleaning.  The whole process of cleaning and keeping it clean becomes a never ending and insidious thing.  It has been known to bring out the obsessive/compulsive behaviors of the unwary.  I have a strong suspicion that may be why doctors are always recommending things being kept sanitary.  They’re trying to drum up business for their psychiatrist brethren!


Recently, I was right in the midst of a full on cleaning loop; a lather, rinse and repeat of my whole house (with my cat trailing closely behind and doing his own rendition; a routine of shed, vomit and soil) when my supply of cleaning products simply gave out.  I think it was my trip to the grocery store that saved my life!  While picking out various items I noticed that virtually every cleaning product boasted either germ killing or germ blocking ability.  Visions of a sparkling germ free home danced like sanitized sugar plums in my head.  My floors and counter tops would shine!   Perhaps they’d even twinkle like the freshly cleaned surfaces that all the commercials promised.  I decided right then and there, I would buy all these wondrous products and with some hard work and determination, I would find someone to come clean my house with these miraculous supplies!


 The ones that really impressed me were the variety of sanitizers claiming to have a kill rate of 99.99% of the little buggers.  I loaded up my cart and practically skipped towards the check out.  But then it occurred to me; “What about that .01% that survives?”  That would be one tough germ!  What if the survivor turned out to be some type of Rambo germ?  Should I fear retaliation?  I certainly wouldn’t want to become the subject of a germ vendetta!  Germs can be very cunning; they hide in nooks and crevices and are masters of camouflage!  Even looking right at one, you can’t see it.  I could be standing in my kitchen admiring its shine and not even hear the microscopic “Geronimo!” as that one rampant Rambo germ attacked!  I am not that good at math.  How much would .01% of say, a billion be anyway?  What if there was a whole battalion of these little killers roaming my kitchen and looking for revenge?  I’d be doomed!   I backed away from my cart and headed for the exit.  I think that being too clean could definitely be bad for your health!