I like to consider myself quite the outdoorsman and conservationist.  I venture outside daily for walks amidst the flora and fauna.   I like to explore my portion of the great outdoors, pausing to observe wildlife, and have even been known to discover new species of plants (at least until someone can prove otherwise).   So you can imagine my surprise when my plan to preserve my part of nature for generations to come was interrupted by a shout from my wife who informed me the authorities in the area left a note on my door insisting that I finally do something about the condition of my lawn.  I believe it must have been the presence of the raccoons that must have pushed the home owner’s association over the edge.


I had carefully avoided the topic of yard work with my wife up until this point by strategically falling asleep when ever she asked me about it.  This plan was working quite well for quite some time, although in retrospect it probably wasn’t the right thing to do at the restaurant.   While the paramedics were leaving and my wife reassured the owners and patrons that nothing was wrong, I realized I had been avoiding the inevitable.


The next morning I headed outside and got to work in the yard.   The first several hours of were pretty difficult, but in the end I made quite a bit of progress.  I was able to find a shovel, three screwdrivers, a rake, and the left half of a bucket.   It had been quite a while since I had seen these and decided that when I completed this task, I would build a shed for everything, if I found enough other tools to complete the job.


I remembered that at some point in our careers as homeowners we had a lawnmower, but after several more hours of searching, I could not find it.   I like to think that the earth reclaimed it and put it to better use than I had over the last few years.   I took a quick trip to the garden store, and with one hastily-written check and a signed agreement not to mistreat any more garden implements, and I was the proud owner of a new lawn mower.


When I returned, I started using the new mower right away, and I was giving it my all.  I know the neighbors were suitably impressed by my tackling this job because I saw a number of them out in their yards, pointing in my direction.   The animals that had been living in the yard were less impressed and gathered in a neighboring yard, taking notes and plotting what to do next.


After several hours of mowing, I was done.  One of the neighbors ventured over and congratulated me on the fine job I had done, and pointed out that with such a fine mower, mowing the lawn every week was going to be a quick task.


I called a lawn service that night.