Married to the Mob


The Godfather had dinner with us again last night. Heís been showing up on a regular basis for the past month, and frankly, Iím getting a little tired of him yet I canít ask him to leave. Ever since my husband bought The Godfather trilogy on DVD that movie has been playing so often that I feel like an extra in the film. Anytime, day or night, thereís always the possibility of confronting one of the Corleones.


Just yesterday I woke up in the middle of the night and Tim wasnít in bed. I ran downstairs to look for him and before my bare feet even hit the bottom step, I heard the hauntingly familiar theme from The Godfather.


ďTim, itís 3am.Ē


ďShhh. Michael is trying to get the Godfather out of his hospital room before someone kills him.Ē


I knew about Timís Godfather obsession before we were married. In fact, I sometimes think one of the reasons he married me was so that he could become part of my Sicilian family. This might explain why he keeps asking my Uncle Mario what else he did for a living besides run a dry cleaning store.


Iíve come to know all of Timís viewpoints on the Godfather movies. He goes into great detail about the betrayal of Luca Brasi, and how Sonny Corleone needed to be more focused.It amazes me that Tim knows and feels so much empathy for this fictional family, yet he canít remember his only sisterís birthday.


Donít get me wrong. Itís not that I donít appreciate The Godfather, itís just that Iíd like to see someone not completely covered in blood flicker across the television screen once in a while. And Timís not the only one with a movie obsession.


Iím also intrigued by fans of Gone With the Wind. I mean, itís one thing to find some mindless enjoyment for 90 minutes, but itís quite another to devote four hours to a film that not only depicts a bloody war, but 98% of the stars die tragically without a happy ending. And the most successful survival tactic that Scarlett OíHara comes up with is to make a fancy new dress out of window treatments.


Speaking of long movies, I know that The Wizard of Oz is considered a masterpiece, but after a few drinks I still see those flying monkeys. To me, Dorothy would have been safer waiting out the tornado in a Kansas trailer park. I have a friend who actually loves this movie so much she has asked to be buried with the DVD.


I guess Iím just going to have to learn to accept the fact that the Corleones are here to stay. I wonder if I can talk Francis Ford Coppola into making Godfather IV where the entire family is wiped out in an olive oil factory explosion. Now, I just have to figure out how to make him an offer he canít refuse.