A Teensy Weensy Renaissance


In these trying economic times, many of us find ourselves reminiscing about the days when money grew on trees and pennies fell from heaven. (Several of my old chums worked in banking, and they say it was so.) We must, however, face facts that times have changed and, as misfortune would have it, a fact bit me in the posterior just the other day.  


I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business and even some of the company’s business as well, when I was honored with a visit from my boss. As Director of Accounts Receivable, he was responsible for informing me that many accounts of late were not willing to be received and that the firm had re-evaluated its immediate future (someone at the top wouldn’t be getting a new yacht at quarter’s end) and had decided my contributions (yes, contributions – so he finally realized I’d been compensated much like a volunteer thus far) would no longer be needed. He then ran out for an ice-blended mocha, leaving me to tell the rest of the department that they too were getting the axe.


“It’s all good,” exclaimed one co-worker as she placed her various How to Succeed in Accounts Receivable manuals into a cardboard box. “It’s the perfect opportunity to reinvent myself!”


Everyone began blurting out new professions they had always intended to pursue. From within the cacophony of voices, I do believe I heard belly dancer, potato farmer, pet taxidermist, web blogger, and of course, professional naysayer. Evidently reinventing the wheel is a tiresome undertaking, but reinventing yourself is all the rage when you have nothing to do and no money to do it with.   


During my walk home, I pondered how I could reinvent myself. I supposed now was as good a time as any for a renaissance, only without any great works of art to spoil the fun. I could finally chase after my childhood dream of becoming a zoologist. I thought about many other types of   –ologists (none of them particularly good looking) and just then, my eyes were drawn to a bookstore window. There was a plethora of literature on display about overcoming adversity through reinvention. One book in particular, about traveling toward your true destiny, entitled Traveling Toward Your True Destiny, fed my curiosity.


The book recommended taking a spiritual journey (much cheaper than an actual journey) and raved about trendy destinations like a state of full consciousness, (the idea of visiting a state holds some appeal, as I’ve always enjoyed the state of Hawaii) and the most popular hot spot of all, enlightenment. Truth be told, I have little interest in enlightenment, as I hear it gets terribly crowded during times like these.  


So, I decided my reinvention would be limited to a new suit. I have bravely opted for navy instead of my standard black.  Why, I’m practically unrecognizable now.