10-025

Decorating has gone to the dogs (or is it cats?)

It’s just a matter of time before the TV people ask me to do a reality series based on my home decorating scheme. I haven’t technically re-decorated, as I’ve been too busy watching home improvement shows but I’ve think I’ve got the lingo down and that seems to be half the battle (the other half involves getting off the couch and should be left to hardier souls than I).

I chose early housecat as the inspiration for my home (apparently you need an inspiration and can’t just go about decorating things willy-nilly), favoring colors and textures most likely to showcase fur balls and little tumbleweeds of matted hair. I’ve done up the living room in neutral beige tones to complement Little Muffy’s black fur but you may wish to play off the white fur of your own feline friend with a black carpet and upholstery (tweeds and corduroys will suck the fur off a passing cat quicker than you can sing a rousing chorus of “Who Threw the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder?”).

A well-placed scratching post in the middle of the room adds architectural detail and draws the eye upward and away from the mint-green contour sheet covering the shredded area rug (much more satisfying to scratch than the post, as any cat would tell you if it could).

But to do a really whiz-bang revamp on your décor, I have learned from the TV pros that you cannot skimp on prepositions no matter how much you spend on actual paint, fabric and furniture. Things have come to a pretty pass when it’s not enough to change the litter box in the coat closet; you must change it out (my abject apologies to grammarians everywhere!). That new enclosure on the patio to keep Puss out of the begonias must be framed out. You get the idea (I’d go on but the ghost of E.B. White just appeared looking none too pleased. I may just have a lie-down on the area rug. Throw a sheet over me and tiptoe out.