12-035

 

Suicidal Deer

 

March 29, 2012

 

State Dept of Transportation

Capitol Street

Main Town, ST

 

RE:Suicidal Deer

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

Last week I was driving my car on State Route 6, through the Coastal Range. I rounded a corner and there in the middle of the road was a deer. I thought that it would move off the road when it saw me but didnít. That obviously suicidal deer moved into my lane! I veered into the other lane, the deer darted back across. I swerved to miss it and there stood a tree! Imagine my surprise when the tree didnít move either! I hit the tree and it caused extensive damage to my car. I am concerned that other drivers will find themselves in this same situation with that crazy deer!

 

With that said, I feel the State has an obligation to protect us drivers from the suicidal wildlife we encounter while driving. Perhaps you could put signs up warning the deer to stay off the roadways. Does anyone in your department speak deer?

 

You may also want to consider lining all the roads with that nice cyclone fencing. It would surely keep all the animals off the road that werenít behind the wheel. Perhaps you could put the slats in the fence to hide those areas that are unpleasant to the eyes such as fast running rivers and mountain scenery. I believe it would also help drivers travel more quickly as they would not be distracted by the view.

 

I understand that this may impact the State monetarily, as you do own seven thousand miles of highway. Perhaps you could put up that invisible fencing that uses the shock collars. You could put shock collars on the deer, elk, bear, squirrels, etc. When they get near a roadway they would get a mild shock to teach them to stay off the road. If you need a contractor to help with this project, I know a good one that would be reasonable in price. He may charge extra to catch all the squirrels though.

 

In truth, I am not sure what the best solution is for this problem. But as the State oversees the wildlife in our public lands, I feel it is your responsibility to take care of this. I expect you to deal with this promptly as is the bureacratic way!

 

I am still trying to get my car fixed. Could you please provide me with the name of the insurance company that insures your deer? Thank you for your attention to this matter, I would not want to encounter another deer on the road as it is very scary, and interrupts my musical enjoyment and text messagingÖ

 

Sincerely

Ms. Somebody

 

Cc: State Dept of Fish and Wildlife