13-025
IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME
EXAMPLES
Apparently men are ruled by their hormones just
like their distaff half. “Lack of testosterone leaves men bad-tempered,
emotional, depressed and suffering from irritable male syndrome, scientist Gerald
Lincoln, from Edinburgh’s Human Reproductive Scientists Unit, told BBC radio’s
Today Show recently.”
I realize it’d be hard to distinguish Irritable
Male Syndrome (IMS) from a man’s regular grumpy old self, so let me try to give
you a few comparisons, as I see them.
If you make your man his favorite meal of
meatloaf and mashed potatoes and serve it to him as soon as he gets home and he
complains that the potatoes aren’t lumpy enough, it could be IMS. If he
asks you why it’s leftovers again then he’s just being his grumpy old
selfish self. Especially considering it’s not leftovers.
If he’s the leader of a nuclear nation and
launches a preemptive nuclear strike against his bordering neighbor because his
favorite cheese from there has doubled in price, then it could be IMS and the
end of the world.
If he just adds the neighboring nation to his
axis of evil list, then maybe he’s only being grumpy because his wife says
that, since there are no coupons for his cheese and now costs too much, she’s
crossing it off her grocery list
If his wife forgets to pick up his dirty
clothes, after she makes dinner, does the dishes and puts the kids to bed while
he watches 3,000 basketball games in a row during March Madness then during a
commercial he calls her fat and lazy, it’s borderline. But then his
wife beats him to death with the business end of her sweeper.
Clearly, it’s justifiable homicide due to IMS and pure laziness.
If the man has both a wife and a girlfriend and
he’s so obnoxious to both that they get together and hang him up naked by his
heels in a public park next to his other girlfriend’s apartment in the winter
time. Then he’s probably got IMS and perhaps some personal
protruding frostbite that could require amputation, much to the delight
of all the women in his life.
If he just complains to both his girlfriends and
his wife that their other lives are interfering with his down time, then
he’s only being grumpy and risks getting gutted in his sleep by his loved ones.
Well folks, those are some of the subtle
differences that I can see between irritable male syndrome and just being a
grumpy old man, no matter how young your man may be.