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My First Plane Ride

It was an exciting day in my life. I would be attending a family member’s wedding in Florida, and it would mark my first flight in an airplane. The whole day was spent in joyful anticipation and preparation for this new and exciting experience.

However, when I found myself at the airport looking up at this huge metal bird, reality hit me. It's one thing to think romantically about soaring through the air, and another to be there and know that your feet would no longer be safely on the ground.

I had second thoughts about entrusting my life to that mechanical contraption, and tried to think of excuses not to board. But alas, it was too late. They already had my luggage and people were pushing me along.

        The first thing I noticed inside the plane was that it wasn't full. Was there something they weren't telling me?  And the second thing was, when I boarded the plane, it was light out, and the minute I got to my window seat, it was dark out. This certainly had to be a bad omen.

        I sat stiffly in my seat, regretting my decision and wanting desperately to leave, but it was too late. The stewardess was telling us over the PA system to fasten our seat belts as the plane taxied to the runway. My heart palpitated and I wondered how I was ever going to get through this.

        The next thing I knew, we were going straight up. I was in agony. The lights below got smaller and smaller and I couldn't look anymore. My eyes were still tightly shut and my seatbelt was still on when I heard the stewardess say, "Would you care for a drink?"

        Without thinking, I answered, "YES!!" But then when she asked me what I would like, I couldn't think of the name of a drink since I never drank. Then I remembered there was one that was mostly orange juice, so I could probably get that down, but I had a hard time remembering the name. It took several tries before I could remember "Screwdriver!" 

        It was an eternity before she returned with my drink. I paid her quickly and the instant she turned, I chugged it down in two gulps like a veteran drinker and waited for oblivion. I felt a warmth spread from my throat to my chest, and I was becoming totally relaxed. It felt so good I wondered why I never drank before. It's not so bad, I thought. In fact, it’s pretty good.

         I unbuckled my seat belt, looked straight down at the tiny lights and said, "I'm not afraid of you," and I sat way back in the seat, ready to enjoy the trip. And why not? I was pleasantly drunk.

No sooner was I in my euphoric state, totally relaxed, comfortable, and unafraid, the stewardess came over to me, leaned over and said, "I'm sorry, Miss, I forgot to put the vodka in your drink."