14-034

When the likes of Senator Fred Thompson and The Fonz tout the need for elders to quickly purchase reverse mortgage insurance, one must take heed. Reverse, of course, because you are elderly and anything you can reverse would inure to your benefit. Insurance, because at your age, who else would insure you for anything? The advantages of these two words alone are far-reaching and undeniable.

There are countless baby boomers now having conversations with their elderly parents about the pros and cons of these reverse mortgage products.

“Dad, why do you need this? You have no mortgage now and you are fine. I have been trying to get you to move out of this house for 10 years. Why would you want to put a mortgage on it?” says the bewildered Son who believes in his own brilliance.

“Because Son, The Fonz says I will have all the money I need and still get to live here,” counters Dad who has been counting his money.

“Dad you have that now….without a mortgage.”

“Well Son, an authority says you are only out to get an inheritance from me. You don’t care about my dreams.  I have always dreamt of water skiing, scuba diving, parasailing and deep sea fishing. A reverse mortgage will give me the money to buy a boat and make my dreams come true.”

“Dad, I have never once, in 55 years, heard you ever say those were your dreams.”

“Well, you didn’t ask. I’m 83 now and The Fonz knows I have dreams and wants me to realize them.  Besides, this expert fella’ Martin Andelman says reverse mortgages are great. The only bad ones are those sold by unethical, predatory jackasses.”

“Dad, who the hell is Martin Andelman?”

“I found him on LinkedIn,” Dad says definitively.          

Mr. Andleman has earned Dad’s confidence and it is unquestionable that former Senator Fred Thompson and The Fonz are neither unethical nor predatory jackasses.

Son counters with the reinforcement of The New York Times and two sitting Senators who state that Seniors better watch out for these reverse mortgages. Son is certain that sitting Senators hold more sway than an actor and an actor turned politician, unless you count Ronald Reagan.

Dad does not take Son’s advice because actors such as The Fonz and people who are former actors turned politicians like Ronald Reagan give superior advice.

Dad spends his final year on the high seas just off the coast of New York City.

Son walks away from the bank owned home of his youth on the day of Dad’s funeral and a tear slides slowly down his wind chapped cheek. He heads back to the marina to take out his fully debt free inheritance, the boat Dad purchased with his reverse mortgage money.  As Son spreads Dad’s ashes along the seaway, he looks fondly at the moniker Dad bestowed upon the reverse mortgage toy that gave Dad so much joy:  “Re-Verse Poetry in Motion.”