A New Leaf
I went to the grocery store thinking about turning over a new leaf for the school year. It's been break even summer - I'm breaking out the Aaaah pants as the temperatures even into fall. I’m happy about it this year because I only gained slightly more than I lost.
Someone once asked me to name my perversion so if said I was into D&M -Dieting and Masochism, and because misery loves company I'm putting the whole family on the path to enlightenment right now.
The kids are so excited about my new commitment, the older one asked to to testify at the hearing..
But I digest.
This started, as all disasters do, with the best of intentions. I was standing in the checkout line holding box of Frosty Cubes Cereal thinking how good it would be to send the kids off to school each day after a healthy breakfast loaded with vitamin S(ugar) and R(esignation) along with an elaborately-arranged sure-to-be uneaten lunch of carrots, fat, sugar, and fat instead of giving them money too buy and not eat a lunch at school before coming home and announcing they're starving.
Some people think better on their feet, I just think more. Less would have been more. My feet thought it would be good to get out of line to get a few boxes of Nuts & Twigs cereal and a multi-pack of Flavor-No ready-made diet dinners guaranteed to make the whole family lose their appetite or their cookies.
And, as a big believer in the Do as I Say, Not as I Do school of parenting I didn't see any irony in training for the arm-chair jockey Olympics while simultaneously banning the kids from butt-expanding TV-watching on the couch.
I'm pulling my weight too, after all, on the new bike I bought just in time for the first snow fall..
But the kids, not understanding parental logic, threatened a general walk out to the doors of the Child Welfare department, and I knew I needed to find another way to manage my issues with our bodies. Fortunately, winter coat season, a.k.a pudgy belly camouflage season - is almost upon us.
It looks like my new leaf is turning just the right way just in time to get out the rakes.